“You’re doing me good, America”

“You’re doing me good, America, and I think I can do you even better,” she whispered as she placed her cigarette on the ashtray before she burned her right hand.

The red Channel nail polish on her tiny fingers and the red lipstick on her lips made her fair skin glow as her long blond hair reflected the lazy afternoon sunlight that entered from the tiny half-open window of the one-bedroom condo.

“I bet you can,” he said, gently stroking her cheek, and continued, “I really think you can.”

The echoing siren of some police car outside didn’t seem to bother her at all. Neither some random shouting man, standing a block away, meant anything to her. She was honestly too good for that. She was stronger than any of that. As she slowly stood up, grabbing the keys from the glass table, she picked her black purse up from the floor and walked out of the door.

© 2018 Kiara Belle

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The Extreme

When I again and again begged you to be
Faire and share our hearts, you handed me
A gun in my right hand and held another in yours.
Sitting on the empty floor, after you gently stroked my
Black hair and touched my cheek, we stared at our gray eyes
And slowly pointed your gun at my heart, my gun at yours.

When the sound of the guns echoed throughout the room
Of the lonely lovers,
In your transparent tears from your eyes,
In your red blood dying your shirt and my face, I thought
I finally saw what I was aching to see.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

Last Night

What have I done?

She wakes up, feeling the huge pang of regret. This is certainly not about hangover. This is not about one-night stand, either. She wishes things were simpler like that. She has gotten over those sorts of craziness when she was twenty-three. Really.

The dazzling summer sunlight that enters her bedroom window does nothing to uplift her mind. But, maturity she has acquired over the years prevents her from crying. “Tears based on your unstable emotions are the only privilege of a teenager,” she thinks to herself. Negative feelings won’t solve anything.

She drinks a big mug of black coffee, desperately hoping that the act completely changes her mood for the better like a shot of tequila, though she is damn sure that won’t undo what she has done last night.

She brushes her teeth, washes her face, gets dressed, puts her makeup on, ties her hair, a ponytail, to hide the necessity to get a haircut and wears her favorite Pandora bracelet and Tag Heuer watch: her lucky charms. May today be a good day!!!

As she walks to the station, her unconscious thoughts automatically replay last night. Instead, she tries to focus on the beauty of the green leaves of the trees on the streets and watches people walking by and wonders why not many women wear skirts here in Germany when a majority of them seem to have tall amazing figures that fit perfectly in cute summer dresses.

She sits comfortably on S-bahn train and looks at Rhein River from the window, which is the very moment she feels truly grateful for her life in Germany. She loves how the water shines, reflecting the beam of the sun. Positive energy fully charged. It does not mean that she is dying from the terminal stage of cancer like her mother. Maybe, her mother IS the sunshine. So, come on, let it go.

As the train goes underground approaching Frankfurt, she looks at herself through the window. The fingers on her lap are still tightly crossed. Three stops later, she gets up and walks towards the city center with the mass amount of tall people. She voicelessly whispers to herself, I can handle this.

© 2016 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

The Tokyo Subway Story

It was 8:32 am, just on time. The silver subway packed with numbers of people arrived at the station with the aggressive loud sound. As soon as the doors were opened, tons of people went out and came in. It was the usual chaos and the flooding of ants.

The fact that this was the busiest moment excused their rudeness and violence. The well-known Japanese politeness was no longer there. It was like some kind of war. I became the ant and joined the war, and I stepped into the subway. Yes baby, it was my showtime.

As soon as I got on the subway, I kept on moving my eyes. I was starving for this. Then, the word echoed in my head, “backpack”. In a few seconds, I found the backpack. You became my today’s target.

It was neither you nor your suit nor your tie that was wrong. The whole fault was your huge black backpack that was accidentally in my sight. I could not resist. I slowly walked within the crowd and stood right behind you. As you seemed busy reading the newspapers, I soundlessly unzipped your backpack and put my right hand inside. The familiar touch of the leather immediately satisfied my right hand. No hesitation necessary. Within a second, I took it out and it became totally mine, no longer yours.

As soon as the subway reached the next station and the doors were open, I got out with the other bunch of ants. I could not help smiling at the Louis Vuitton wallet in my hand.

I checked your ugly face on your company ID and 70,000 yen in the wallet. More than what I got from you, I had to laugh at how stupid you were. Maybe, you learned a lesson, and you’d better thank me before you blame me.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

The Twelve-hour Sleep

It is the escape from your reality,
It is the cure of your mind,
It is the reward addressed to you
Until the short hand of the clock makes a circle.

No need to drink, No need to eat,
No talk, No argument, Just-
Let your eyes closed,
Let your mouth breathe,
Let your heart beat,
Let your body live in the dream,
Let your idleness be the luxury
For the twelve hours.

Nothing more is necessary,
For after the twelve hours,
When your eyes are opened again,
It is going to be the time
To go back to your reality where
You are forced to
Face the hours,
Face the people,
For this is where you belong to.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

The Orange from Ehime

The circular sunrise
raised by the golden wind of Ehime.

The customary desert of the elementary school
now placed as a treasure
on the cold table of Tokyo.

Gently and carefully,
the sunrise bloomed
with the petals like the sunlight
just like the day I left my hometown.

One by one,
I smell and taste
my hometown
where I no longer belong to.

But the sourness of the sunrise,
still gently welcomes my return.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

Unrequited Love

After absorbing the air,
She blows up
Into the red balloon.

The more she blows,
The more it grows,
Larger and rounder.
The more of her passion is
Swallowed
By the red balloon.

Making its skin worn,
The red balloon
Becomes more transparent,
Too visible, too naked.

Her red face, so breathless,
Can’t tell, Can’t speak.
No word can be voiced.

With full of her passion,
The red balloon is
About to explode.

Soon, it will.
Even if he never knows
The existence of the red balloon.

Soon, it will
And will disappear,
With the blast,
Hurting her.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

The Modern Tokyo Version of the Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Andersen

It was a summer day in August where the concrete of the road reflected the heat of the dazzling sunlight. It was a busy day in Tokyo, where the mass amount of people constantly walked with hasty steps and disappeared into and appeared from buildings.

On a such day in a such place, this girl, who was almost sixteen, had to sacrifice herself to survive. As her mother could not affort to send her to high school, this was the unbearable nightmare when the normal girls of her age enjoyed shopping and summer vacations.

Her job had to be simple, for the work that kids without education could do were limited in this advanced country, but she was against commiting any crimes.

What she had to do was to distribute the packets of the pocket-sized Kleenex, whose covers were the printed ads of the notorious loan shark company, to those walking people.

Who to blame was her father who had disappeared five years ago, leaving the crazy amount of debt. Who to protect was her mother who was currently hospitalized due to her chronic heart disease, incapable of working. Poverty was the pronoun of hers and her fate was cruel.

For hours and hours, she kept on distributing the packets to all of the people she could reach to. Her fake smile brutally hid her exhaustion and the sunburn made her skin uglier. Some received the packets and some did not. It was the job with no thank-you. The sweat running on her skin inside the pink tank top and her wet long hair gradually absorbed her energy. Those people were so unfriendly and her fate was indeed cruel.

As the sun rose over her head, her exhaustion reached its peak. The world was demanding too much of her. She could not stand this. 

She crept away from the central road to the dark alleyway and started to wipe her body with the Kleenex. The more she wasted the tissue papers, the more she thought and worried of her sickened mother. But, the more she used the tissue papers, the more she could be free. Her mind was filled with the happy moments from the past when her fate was still gentle. 

The Disney Land she went with her parents on her 8th birthday, the delicious miso soup her mother used to always make for her breakfast, the piano contest she participated every year till she turned 10, the boy from junior high school who once said he liked her. The memories came and went like a cool sea breeze.

When she finished the last packet of the tissue papers, she took a deepest breath and silently collapsed to the ground.

  • “Tissue-pack marketing is a type of guerrilla marketing that is a phenomenon in Japan. Companies use small, portable tissue packages to move advertising copy directly into consumers’ hands.” by Wikipedia

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

Dear Our Beloved Golden Retriever

When the yellow-whitish-haired angels were about to sleep on the warm blue carpet, the outside world was already surrounded by the cold darkness. It was the snow-colored February, their birthday, their a-day old. Sniffing the smell of the brand new world mixed with bitterness and sweetness, their curious brown noses searched for the milky scent of their mother. It was the perfect family structure of the beautiful golden retrievers: a mother, two sons and three daughters, perhaps their happiest moment together when the love was the only thing they knew of.

Sorry that we broke it. Sorry that we changed your destiny. When your half- opened light brown eyes shone like marbles, we thought you were the most outstanding beauty among your siblings. When your lively moving small legs kicked your sister, trying hard not to sleep, you were actually the healthiest, so tomboyish. That was how we fell in love with you. And you eventually became the princess of our family with your girlish looks and boyish attitudes though you had to be far away from your mother.

Your wild white teeth broke your wooden toys whenever you got a new one. You stupidly got hit against the big gray walls and the tall telegraph poles many times, making loud noises like bicycle accidents. And, you became as gigantic as a human child, making your hair grow gold. Even though you were such a big blunderer, you really had no flaws. And you know what? You were so loved by us and everybody else. You lived for six years like that, such a short and tiny life. Were you ever happy? What are you doing above the clouds now?

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!

The Grandmother’s Hand

The grandmother looks at her hand –
The numberless wrinkles breathe under her loofah-like skin.

The hand is betrayed by lies and pleased by sincerity.
Hugs and handshakes forgive sins,
But pain is still in the fist.

Flame of war, cancer’s scars on one-breasted chest, cheeks of granddaughters,
The hand always remembers the touch of all.

© 2015 Kiara Belle * To subscribe on your Kindle, please click HERE!!!